Natural Beauty

This week on America's Next Top Model:

The girls had a self styling challenge where they were given clothes that were too big for them and they had to use gadgets found in their purses to make them fit better. Poor Marjorie got extremely nervous having to complete the challenge in front of judge Paulina and had a minor panic attack. McKey was the challenge winner and was awarded 50 extra frames in this week's shoot. Is it me or is McKey kinda looking like a monkey these days? I never noticed how far her ears stick out until tonight. I'm not a fan of how she's styling her hair.

Back at home it's pick on Marjorie night. According to my friend over at I Watch Lots of TV girls who get a lot of face time on the show are getting the "I am going home" edit. Could this be Marjorie's time to go?

At the shoot, Monster Jay (here we go again with the acting roles) tells the ladies they will be natural disasters that occur in Los Angeles for this week's photo shoot. They are as follows:
Elina -- earthquake
Sheena -- sandstorm
Clark -- blackout
Lauren Brie -- snow storm
Joslyn -- rock slide
Analeigh -- wind storm
McKey -- heat wave
Samantha -- tidal wave
Marjore -- traffic jam

Ummm, since when did a traffic jam become a natural disaster? Have they gotten that bad in LA that FEMA needs to be called in? And speaking of natural disasters in LA, when was the last time there was a snow storm there? Where were the Malibu fires?

The girls were decked out in 60s-ish mod clothes. I liked how Sam rocked the wave and while I wasn't sure how her photos would translate, I loved Marjorie in that blond bob.

At judging Sam jumped from the bottom two to claim the top spot this week. Marjorie survived, but can she beat her fidgety nerves and stick around next week? Clark was the opposite of Sam and fell from the top spot to the going home spot. Joslyn, in the bottom two with Clark, was saved because of her bubbly personality (and after her scary photo this week, that's ALL that saved her).

Fierce Eyes

Aside from make-over week, runway week is another of my most favorite ANTM episodes. This year the girls learned to walk on a bowling alley lane. If you've ever fouled in bowling, you know those lanes are slippery in bowling shoes, let alone stepping over that line in high-heel bowling shoes. Joselyn had a pretty good first walk. Poor Hannah had an extremely scary walk and Samantha has super bow legs.

Tonight on Lifetime television we have a heart to heart moment between Isis, McKey and Joselyn that takes place in the bathroom with elevator music playing in the background. Ummm, gag me.

At this week's challenge for designer Jeremey Scott has the girls walking the runway blindfolded. The catch, well other than walking nearly blind in front of a crowd, is that the girl with the worst walk won't get to pass go, won't collect $200...oh wait, that's Monopoly. The girl with the worst walk will not get to participate in the photo shoot, will not go to panel, but will be sent home immediately. No pressure ladies.

Before talking the runway, Samantha gets big time repremanded by Jeremy Scott because she is walking around lifting up her dress before the show. Not exactly the kind of thing a designer wants a model to do with his/her garments on the runway. But silly Sam does not heed the warning and walks with crazy arms down the catwalk and at the end poses (inadvertantly?) lifting her dress again showing her lady-bits to the whole crowd.

Poor Hannah who could not walk down the bowling alley lane, again struts down the runway as if she's a show horse sidestepping around an arena. It was like she was trying to walk and put the ball of her foot down before her heel. That's not how it works honey. Time to pack up and head back to Russ...errr, Alaska.

Joselyn is the challenge winner and she gets to pick two friends to join her (Isis and Sheena) to shoot an advertorial for 15-year-old Russian designer Kira Plastinina. Plastinina was totally awesome for a 15 year old. No "My Super Sweet 16" spoiled brat there, at least not in front of the camera.

For the shoot this week the girls shoot at their house with none other than famed fashion photographer Mr. Nigel Barker, sigh. When is Nigel going to get his own show? I could watch him for hours. The girls have to shoot in the swimming pool with just their eyes above water.

Clark actually has a good shoot and Mr. J thinks it was because she was flirting with Nigel...no wonder I love to hate the girl. I felt sorry for Isis having to do two swimsuit shoots in a row. She once again was awkward in her suit and never got comfortable in front of the camera.

At judging Samantha got torn apart by Jeremy Scott. He told her, "You're representing me when you're out there. It's not your show. You're not a rock star." Oh, snap Jeremy Scott. But he's right. Samantha acted very immature at the runway show.

Of all the pictures Sheena, Samantha, Clark and Lauren Brie were my favorites. In the end Clark took the top prize and Samantha and Isis were in the bottom two. Even though I thought Samantha was going home because of her actions, it was Isis' inability to stand out that sent her packing.

You're Beautiful, Now Change

I didn't like Elina's red hair at first, but she made this photo look hot (although not so sure it's a good swimsuit photo). Photo from CW.com

Tyra starts the episode off by hosting a Princess Party and having all the girls wear tiaras and eat pizza. But, Tyra, Tyra, Tyra, girl, I'm not sure if you're trying to land some movie roles or what, but you have got to stop with the acting (and Mr. Jay, too). Between Tyra-bot and Sleeping Beautyra, I'm ready to just fast forward each week to the photo shoots.

But this week WAS exciting because it was make-over week....or at least it SHOULD have been exciting. This is usually one of my favorite weeks on ANTM, but I was pretty disappointed. None of the girls knew what their makeover looked like until they were completely done. The only tears we had this season were from Elina who got a firey-red, curly weave. As for Sheena & Lauren Brie, hardly anything was changed.

This week's challenge was at WalMart and newly bowl-cut-with-bangs Hannah won the spontaneous Cover Girl commercial. Our small town girl was excited about winning because now she'll be able to Google herself. Ha. Ha.

There was a lot of blah, blah, blah this week. Apparently Elina hates her mom and Britney thinks she's a beyotch because of it, quite frankly from the way Elina was describing it, I agree with Britney.

The photo shoot this week was swimsuits. Hannah had incredibly scary eyes during the shoot, Isis was understandably awkward, but still managed a decent photo, and Samantha was my overall favorite. I love her short, platinum blond haircut.

During judging, Clark looked HORRIBLE and I think probably should have gone home, but it was Britney and Analeigh in the bottom two. Britney was sent packing because her photos were too pretty.

The Ladder of Model Success

This week's winning photo of Lauren Brie.

It’s Benny Ninja time. The models are asked to pose while in fabric tubes. In the extreme posing introduction Sheena has the most flexibility and gets complimented by model/contortionist Bree Robertson.

Back at the house Hannah talks about how she’s from a small town…again. Then the sadly naïve girl exclaims that she’s just the “stereotypical white girl.” Is that like a hockey mom from Alaska? And then we get our first tears of the season. It wouldn’t be ANTM without a little waterworks.

To use their extreme posing, this week’s challenge has the girls modeling handbags and accessories designed by Tarina Tarantino. Even though she was complimented earlier, Sheena seems to have taken the opportunity to pose a little, ummm, raunchy by placing the handbag in front of her hoo-ha.

In confessional Nikeysha says she’s trying not to talk as much, but girl is NOT doing a good job at it. Also the girls circle the wagons and confront Hannah asking if she’s prejudice or racist. She is immediately offended and takes off for more tears. Are the girls overreacting or does Hannah need to watch her step more carefully? Are Alaskan girls really that out of touch with reality?

This week’s photo shoot is hanging from a hot air balloon… well because of the wind they’re actually hanging from a ladder suspended from a crane. Lauren Brie is 1st up and nails the shoot. A majority of the girls were awkward and didn’t know how to control their bodies in the air.

At judging, was Tyra trying to look like a butterfly in her dress? She surely did succeed on that. Also, did Paulina not get the memo that robot week was last week? What WAS she wearing and what WAS with her hair?!

Lauren Brie’s poses translated beautifully on film and Elina’s shots were so good that her eyes are still ingrained in my head. I thought Joslyn’s photo was interesting in the fact that it looked like her picture was taken while standing on the ground and the ladder was inserted after. Majorie’s body was placed well, but her face looked a bit manly.

In the end, Lauren Brie came out on top and Isis and Nikeysha were in the bottom two and Miss Flaps-Her-Gums is sent home.

All pictures from cwtv.com

Top Model Inauguration

For a while America's Next Top Model has teetered on the edge of crazy, but this season the show plunged into the deep end of the insanity pool.

The premiere of Cycle 11began with the two J’s emerging in futuristic robot outfits in front of the Top Model Institute of Technology – where “We build better models.” First of all it has to be asked, what on earth (past, present or future) is going on with Mr. J’s – excuse me, Alpha J’s – hair?! It looks like they put a wet cat on top of his head. Second, when you see the show’s promo poster (shown above) you aren’t exactly thinking 2001: A Space Odyssey Gone HORRIBLY Wrong. Where’s the connection here people?

Oh but it got better (or worse, depending on your view). The Glaminator machine spits out a robotic Tyra. I had to blink my eyes in a few rapid successions just to make sure I wasn’t sleeping (since I watched the show after midnight). Then there were the special effect graphics that were off the chain… and I’ll leave it at that.

Wow, all that and I have yet to make mention of any of the model participants. Here were my initial standouts (and not solely because I thought they would win this season):

♥ Britney B. (one of 3 Britney’s; she later becomes Sharaun): girl brings her lucky underwear with her and gives them to Miss J. The underwear will reappear multiple times during the second half of the premiere. She becomes the last girl selected in the final 14 where she then cries into the lucky underwear. Disturbing, child.

♥ Analeigh: the former figure skater that was sold to an Arabian (is that the PC term?) prince, but managed to get out of it. I have to give my props to her because she’s from my hometown area of Sacramento (woot, woot!).

♥ Isis: Ah, the much anticipated black sheep of the season that will replace Tyra’s plus-sized pet projects. Isis was spotted when she was a background model in a Cycle 10 shoot and when Tyra said she had to be on the show, she was informed that Isis was transgender. I give the girl props for putting herself out there and while hoping to represent the transgender community, really just wants to win this for herself.

♥ Lindsey: While she didn’t make the final cut, first thing I thought about her was she was the plus-size-Whitney-look-alike, which was said later by some of the judges.

♥ Nikeysha: girl came in throwing around her fake boob bra inserts. Mmmm, k.

♥ Susan: the wannabe model who majored in English and American Liturature and Language at Harvard but can’t name a famous English Lit heroine. Guess my English degree from SDSU isn’t looking all that bad. Poor Harvard girl didn’t have the brains or the looks to make the final cut.

♥ Hannah: little miss innocent from Alaska got chased by a moose – where’s Sarah Palin when you need her?

Hour One had a lot going on, but to me, the second hour was a bit unexciting comparatively. I think it’s because the wet cat fell off Mr. J’s head, Tyra took off her silver lipstick and there were no more rockin graphics.

The first challenge had to do with the 2008 presidential elections and the goal was for the girls to make voting sexy. I’m not really sure what some of these girls had in mind, but they weren’t making voting look any more appealing to me. I couldn’t really pick one shot that really stood out to me to be the best. I want to like Marjorie, but her nervous tick is a bit obnoxious.

Marjorie became the eventual winner, despite the fact that some of the judges thought her photo was flat. Tyra loved the photo, which makes me wonder if any of the other judges’ inputs really matter.

The bottom two were Sharaun and Nikeysha. Sharaun brought along her lucky underwear again but it wasn’t enough for her to escape elimination and she became the first girl to go home.

all model mugs are from zaptoit.com