LOST is back, baby

Be warned. Don't read if you haven't watched the first two hours of the new season.

LOST is back and I couldn’t be more excited.

Flash-back: We start off with an alarm clock at 8:15am and an Asian woman and man in bed with a baby crying in the background. The man gets up and puts on a record (Willie Nelson’s Shotgun Willie) then goes to feed the baby. We see that we’re on the Island and the man is Marvin Candle (a.k.a.: Dr. Edgar Halliwax or Dr. Pierre Chang) filming a Dharma orientation film. A worker interrupts the doctor saying there’s a problem at the Orchid station. Sonar imaging of a wall in Orchid shows the wheel Ben turned at the end of last season. The doctor tells the workers to stop drilling and tells them eventually they could harness energy from that place that would allow for time travel. Panning away we see that one of the Orchid workers is Faraday. Interesting.

Flash-forward and we’re at the funeral parlor with Jack, Locke (a.k.a.: Jeremy Bentham) and Ben. Jack is wondering how all this happened and Ben reminds him it’s because they left the Island. Ben and Jack take Locke’s body after Ben convinces Jack that they ALL need to return to the Island.

3 years earlier, or present time on the Island: Ben is back in the Orchid chamber turning the wheel. There’s a flash and Locke is in the forest by himself in the rain. The group on the motorboat also saw the flash, but is still in the same place, same with Sawyer and Juliet who were on the beach, but the freighter has disappeared. Bernard and Rose come out of the forest and when the group heads back to the camp, they find that it has disappeared, too. Faraday comes with the boat group and says, “Your camp isn’t gone. It hasn’t been built yet.”

Flash-forward: Kate is off the Island and at home with Aaron. Lawyers come to her door asking for a blood sample from the two. Kate freaks and runs. What a surprise, Kate on the run.

Present: Faraday and group trek through jungle and he tells the group the Island is like a record, skipping and whatever and whatever Ben did, he dislodged the Island through time. Locke, separate from the other group, climbs up a mountain where a plane flies in and crashes. Out of the plane came a Virgin Mary statue from Echo’s brother’s plane that had crashed way before Oceanic 815. As he climbs the canopy to the crashed plane shots are fired and he’s hit in the leg. Out of the jungle comes our old pal Ethan with a gun asking, “Who are you?” Another flash and John is along at night, Ethan has disappeared, but the gunshot wound remains.

Flash-forward: Sun is at airport and is brought to a room where Charles Whitmore threatens, “I will be respected Sun.” The common interest mentioned by Sun during the end of last season: “To kill Benjamin Linus.” Newsflash says Hurley killed a man outside his mental hospital. After stopping for food with Sayid, Hurley says to him, “Maybe if you ate more comfort food, you wouldn’t have to go around shooting people.” I’ve missed Hurley. Sayid tells Hurley that he was working for Ben for two years and if he ever sees Ben, Hurley should do the opposite of what he says. At Sayid’s safe house men are waiting for him with tranq-darts, but Sayid being the badass he is kills both men before passing out from the tranquilizer. A group of people sees Hurley with a gun and being tech savvy, snap a cell phone photo.

Present: Faraday is warning everyone that the stream of the past can’t be changed. Whatever happened, happened. John is still wounded and Richard finds him and when John asks him where he went when the sky lit up Richard says, “I didn’t go anywhere, John, you went.” Then he tells John that the next time they see each other he’s to give him a compass and his duty is to convince the group to come back to the Island because that is the only way to save the Island. John asks, “How am I supposed to do that?” With a straight face Richard tells him, “You’re going to have to die John.” And then another flash. The Faraday group is at the hatch pre-blowup time and Sawyer goes crazy insisting he can get supplies from the hatch. Faraday repeats that he cannot disrupt the past. Charlotte has a nose bleed, just like the guys from the freighter had. Faraday is obviously worried by this and after browsing through his notebook he is even more worried. He returns to the hatch and bangs on the door until Desmond comes out. Faraday tells Desmond to go back to Oxford and find his mother.

Flash-forward: Desmond wakes up with Penny and the memory is in his dream. He gets up and tells her they are going to Oxford.

End of the first half. Phew! There is a lot being revealed, but DANG there is a lot of bouncing back and forth. If someone were watching the show for the first time there would be plenty of room for confusion.

Present: On Penny’s boat the Oceanic 6, Desmond, Penny and Frank are deciding on a story. Hurley doesn’t want to lie and tells Penny to just call off her dad. She says there’s no calling him off.

Flash-forward: Hurley is driving Sayid around and Ana Lucia pulls him over and reprimands him for being stupid. She tells Hurley to get somewhere safe and as she walks away says, “Oh yeah, Libby says hi.” Then we see it’s a figment of Hurley’s imagination.

Present: New guy on the island is Neal. Wonder how long he’s going to last.

Flash-forward: Hurley stops at gas station and buys I ♥ Shih-Tzus. Hilarious. As they leave the gas station Kate and Aaron pull in. Kate gets a phone call from an unknown number and says she’ll meet up with the person. Could it be Sun? Ben has something hidden in hotel wall, but we don’t see what it is. He tells Jack, “If there’s something in this life pack it up, because you’re never coming back.” Jack asks Ben if Locke is really dead and gets no answer. Hugo’s safe place is his old house. Kate does go to see Sun. Ben goes to a butcher shop and knows the butcher, Jill, who is apparently working for Ben. Ben tells her, “Keep him safe Jill, because if you don’t everything we’re about to do won’t matter at all.”

Present: Rose, being the awesome person she is, gives the new guy a timeout. Neal is complaining about no food and no fire when a flaming arrow hits him. New guy is down for the count. That didn't take long. Multiple arrows follow. All of a sudden it’s like medieval times on the Island. When is the catapult coming out?

Flash-forward: Kate’s meeting with Sun and Sun says Kate makes hard decisions all the time, like when she left Jin behind. Sun says she doesn’t blame Kate (though I’m not convinced) then asks how Jack is. Hurley’s dad takes passed out Sayid to Jack who, in turn, calls Ben to tell him Sayid just landed at his front door. Back at his house, Hurley’s mom asks him who Sayid is. Hurley says, “He is my friend. But he’s also got this double life where he does crazy ninja moves and spy stuff.” Hurley wins the award for best quotes this week. Then Hurley proceeds to tell his mom that they lied about the crash. She believes his story. She doesn’t understand, but she believes.

Present: Sawyer and Juliet are captured, but by who?

Flash-forward: Jack takes Sayid to the hospital. Ben shows up at Hurley’s and Hurley throws a Hot Pocket at him. Again, hilarious Hurley. Ben tries to convince Jurley to go with him saying he won’t have to lie any more. Hurley takes Sayid’s earlier advice and runs out to turn himself in to the cops.

Present: Locke shows up at the key moment and kills the guys who have Sawyer and Juliet.

Flash-forward: Some lady in a cape is doing some crazy math in a dark chamber. She’s in a church and says something to the effect of “God help us all if Ben can’t get everyone back in 70 hours.”

OMG. Two hours of LOST is wonderful, but such a challenge to wrap my head around. I don’t even know where to begin. It was awesome, I think. Slowly, but surely, things are being answered, but those writers are still introducing more open-ended story lines. It’s good to know that it will be wrapped up by the end of next season. I am interested in the Faraday plotline. How was he at the Orchid station when it was being built?

So what did you think, Losties?