The Ex Files

Somebody please tell me where I can get me one of these fierce Gossip Girl head bands. I hear it’s ALL the rage now. Photo from CW.

Ah, the first day of senior year of coll…errr, high school. These are memories people. And the memories Serena is collecting along the way aren’t too hot. I mean, isn’t it horrible heading back to school after you’ve just broken up with the boy you loved and you have to face him every day? What’s a girl to do?

Lily is back from her honeymoon with Bart. She sits down for a nice breakfast with Serena and her bro. “It is your 1st day of school and I was feeling motherly,” says Lily to her children as a maid brings another plate of waffles to the table.

When Dan gets to school he spends his morning hours scouring the girls’ hall for Serena, but instead bumps into Amanda the new transfer who of course shares all sorts of the same interests as Dan. Convenient. Also Convenient is that Serena sees the two talking and is immediately heartbroken.

Catherine goes to see Vanessa at the gallery in Brooklyn and rather than purchasing some art, slips Vanessa a $5,000 check for staying away from Nate even though he visited her before school. Catherine has some good spies.

And now that Lily is back from her honeymoon, she immediately goes to see Rufus. How’s that marriage working out Lily?

Back at school, things are progressing between Dan and Amanda when Dan asks her to have lunch with him. “Lunch, as in the meal before dating,” Blair advises Serena.

And then there was a collective “Eeewwww” that arose from my couch from both my roommate and I as Vanessa walks in on Catherine going at it with none other than Marcus – her stepson! This woman has no boundaries. I shudder.

Vanessa has no one else to turn to but Blair for help on this situation. While Blair is on a mission to take care of the Marcus/Catherine problem, Vanessa mistakenly thought Blair pushed the whole thing aside and decided to have a romantic brunch with Marcus instead. Turns out Blair had the whole situation under control, but Vanessa went and told the Duke all about his cheating 2nd wife sleeping with his son.

Chuck had a weird way of showing up and being creepy – especially in the purple Willy Wonka outfit – and I kept asking my roommate what he had at stake. Well, turns out Chuck was the puppet master the whole time and was using Amanda as a way to put Serena back in charge and de-thrown Blair.

Until next week, be careful of the caddy girls and their nairtinis. XoXo